Please read carefully: Only read if you are on a twin flame journey. If you know, you know! Also note that this is written from the DF’s (Divine Feminine) perspective and may not resonate with DM’s (Divine Masculines). 

Additionally, everyone’s journey is different and if you don’t find this helpful, I hope that you find the help you need from another source. Much love and respect to all twin flames. Lastly, I personally can’t address this topic without some tough love because truth isn’t easy or comfortable. 

It may feel a bit too logical too because I’m trying to pack a ton of information on a couple of pages & that’s not possible without leaving emotion out of it. If you’re easily triggered, please click out and stop reading further. There are hundreds of other sources that you can find and relate to depending on the stage you are at.

The Runner & The Chaser: The very first and obvious thing we’re going to talk about is chasing. If you’ve been on this journey a while, you understand the TF concept of DF as the chaser and DM as the runner. Sometimes the energy reverses and the runner becomes the chaser… yada yada yada. You know the drill! Anyway, if you are still chasing, then I’m sorry to tell you that you’re still on level 1 of the journey. If you’ve expressed your true feelings to your DM clearly and authentically and he ran, i.e pushed you away, hid his feelings, ghosted you or denied that he felt the same (all of which is “normal”, sorry!) and you’re still chasing him physically or energetically…. then THAT’s not going to help your journey. In the same sense, if you haven’t expressed your feelings to the DM, why do you expect the DM to express his? You are twins, remember? Like it or not, the DF is the leader who shapes the journey. Also, ask yourself what you’re running from in your own life? Trust me, if you can honestly answer this question without getting your ego involved, you can catapult yourself to the 10thlevel. LOL 

I’ve talked to some DFs who’re married and still waiting for their DMs. How many hearts will we play with only because expressing our truth is hard or being single is hard?!?! If you’re unwilling to be brave enough to make the right choices, why would you expect the DM to be authentic about his choices? Really, think about this^. Because when you do, clarity comes to you as if by magic.

So let’s work on changing this energy together! How are you chasing the DM? Are you checking his social media? Are you waiting for him to reach out? Are you hoping that he leaves his current relationship for you? Are you blaming him for anything? Are you holding anger or grudges towards him or third parties? Stop doing all of that. Shift your focus to your inner DF and DM but do it for yourself, not because you want him to return. Are your feminine and masculine energies in balance? This doesn’t mean that a girl who looks like a tomboy is masculine or a man who enjoys cooking is feminine. Not at all! It means that you must balance your giving and receiving energies. Where, what and how are you giving to people? Are you an authentic giver or do you give because you’re expected to? Do you have a hero complex (like I did)? 

Heroes are amazing, but they’re burdened with self-sacrifice to rescue others at the cost of their own balance. True self-love is when your own cup is full FIRST before you share your generosity with others. Ask yourself meaningful questions. What are you receiving in your relationships? If you’re like me, I guarantee that you have given way MORE than you’ve received from people. And we’re going to change that right now. Ask yourself how you can allow yourself to receive in balance NOW with grace and gratitude? Hint: Calling on Archangel Raphael to open your heart for self-love will work wonders for you. Or use this affirmation in front of the mirror, “I welcome & expect mutual effort for harmony in all my relationships. I allow myself to receive all good things in abundance from the universe without shame and guilt. My needs are valid. I am important. I am worthy. I am deserving. I now allow myself to be comfortable receiving positive attention in all areas of my life and that feels really good”.

Dark Night of The Soul: I’ll have to use tough love here, sorry in advance. I grew up in a Muslim culture where it’s considered a sin to believe anything that’s not by the holy book. I always questioned organized religion even when I was a child (no disrespect intended to the reader’s beliefs) and I grew even more restless when my daughter was born. I looked back at my life and found that I didn’t want the same kind of life for my daughter. 

Even though my first official DNOTS started in 2011, snippets of it had already started with my daughter’s birth. My soul was starving for authenticity. Luckily my search led me to Reiki and once I started practicing Reiki, I “sensed” that I had done this before. My teacher invited me to a group reiki event for practice one day and I comfortably started channeling dead people as if I had been doing this forever. My teacher was shocked, but the whole thing felt very familiar to me. The stranger receiving Reiki on the table was in happy tears as I channeled his deceased grandpa with tiny details about his childhood and how he used to push his grandpa’s wheelchair. I had never done anything like this before, well at least in this lifetime. In fact, I am an introvert and I prefer to quietly do my work without attracting attention. But that night, I attracted a lot of attention which was NOT my comfort zone. After that event, I knew that the concept of past lives was real and that I’d been a healer in other lives. 

Why am I talking about it right now? Because I found out later in life that it’s important to regress past lives to achieve moksha. The DNOTS is very painful. I don’t know about you but I thought I was going to die. When I started regressing past lives and released ancestral trauma, it helped tremendously in my kundalini awakening. Now I see the DNOTS as the gift that it is. I’ve helped so many people heal ever since that group reiki event when I rediscovered my purpose.

The second part of this topic may or may not apply to you so feel free to skip it. For some people, like me…..lucky, lucky me! *insert sarcasm*, there are two dark nights of the soul specially when the DF and DM are off on their timing. Did I mention that I separated from my twin when I was 14? Only I had no idea at the time that he was my twin. I just knew that he was my first love and possibly my only love. 

Anyway, during my first DNOTS in 2011 or 2012, I was in a group meditation and I asked my soul to show me my true love because I felt I was ready for a long term commitment. I was fully expecting to see a stranger I’ve never met before because I wasn’t into dating and such. I saw a man holding red roses under the Eiffel tower but his back was towards me. I was determined to see what he looked like so I could recognize him in future when I meet him, right? I got closer and closer and he finally turned towards me and guess what? It was the boy I separated from in my teens but he looked like a man now. The same guy! (that was when I received the famous soul shock that everyone talks about) I was freaked out by seeing him and I ran (figuratively). LOL I sent him Reiki, I imagined saying goodbye and the optimist in me thought that I had released him with love. I saw him in my dreams for a few months and I was really bothered by it but eventually I threw myself into my career….to hide from the truth.

In 2020, which I now know was the year of mass twin flame awakening, I lit a candle on a full moon in February and I invited my true love to enter my life. Before then, I hadn’t even heard the term Twin Flame and had no idea what it was. Then I forgot about my candle magic. Work was still extremely busy. A few days later, I started dreaming of the same person again. I thought he was going through a difficult time because I do pick up other people’s distress. I sent him healing, I lit candles for his good health and happiness. But the dreams were consistent, and they were not happy dreams. They were dark and disturbing. After a few months I could barely sleep. Prior to this experience, angels and Gods always came when I called. But when these dreams started, I called Archangel Michael, Archangel Metatron, Batman (Yes, Batman is a God believe it or not) just to name a few to block my dreams……but they didn’t help me. I was so mad! I was sleep deprived and my family, career was being affected. It took me months to remember what I asked for when I lit the candle on that full moon. When it finally dawned on me, I was in my ego because I had believed for years that my love was one-sided. But my dreams told me it wasn’t. 

The purpose of typing all this detail is that the pain won’t stop until you accept the truth even if you can’t see it in the 3D. Once I accepted it, I put in the effort to find him, to talk to him. And even though I was unsuccessful, my DNOTS ended because I authentically put in the effort. I had to eat my huge ego because the pain was bigger and more powerful than it. That’s what they call the ego death. The second DNOTS for me lasted over 2 years but it became less painful as soon as I started putting in effort to heal my relationship with my twin. I hope reading this really helps some twins. The more you do inner work, the less pain you’ll experience. In the end, this re-birth is worth it.

DF’s Inner union: My inner union started during the second DNOTS as mentioned above. It was very confusing because the first year or two, I knew the pain wasn’t mine, but I didn’t know how to get rid of it & also because rationally I couldn’t explain how I was feeling someone who I hadn’t even seen in decades. Everything I did (Reiki, Theta healing, meditation) backfired. I only know now that it backfired because I was resisting the inner union. 

Before 2020, I hadn’t even heard of the term Twin Flame so excuse me for not knowing how to handle this shit. I knew his energy from mine, but I wanted 3D confirmation which was difficult not knowing where he even was. When I started hearing him in my head, I was very very very angry. I was furious. I resisted with every bit of strength left in me (no sleep, no energy but max stubbornness lol). Long story short, I had to give in because there was no fight left in me after two years of battling hie energy from invading mine. The 3rd year wasn’t easy either but it was better. For me, it took 4 years for the soul merge to complete. Once the soul merge happens, you reach Moksha and 3D doesn’t matter anymore. I still had no answers about the DM but I was at peace. Once you reach Moksha, my personal suggestion is to attract a soulmate for a relationship because you don’t control the pace your DM navigates the TF journey. He may never reach Moksha in this lifetime. You deserve mutual love and mutual effort, not one-sided wonderings and questions. 

I once read a quote that when a man really loves a woman, he’d move mountains to show her that he cares. I can tell you that my DM hasn’t even moved an ant. I don’t know about his life, so I can’t judge him. Maybe he never did feel anything for me, but the second DNOTS proves the opposite. All I know is myself and my worth and what I deserve. Choose yourself! Give yourself attention, love and time. Take up worthy causes. Invest in yourself and celebrate yourself. This wasn’t an easy journey. But now, you get to live freely!

Angel Numbers & Tarot Readings: They’re a great resource WHEN you’ve asked a question or when you’re feeling down. If you’re seeing angel numbers like 1111, 2222, 3333…they’re ONLY reminding you of your path and to stay true to it. Don’t go into a deep analysis. You will end up like Alice in Wonderland. Now if you’ve asked the universe a question and you see repeating angel numbers after asking the question, then that’s different and that’s when you do go into a deep analysis and figure out what wisdom the universe is sharing with you. Same applies to tarot. Ask meaningful questions if you must but even tarot can’t help you if you’re only focusing on what the DM is doing. When you focus on fulfilling your purpose, you can achieve moksha with or without physical union with your DM. In my personal opinion, the TF mission doesn’t have to be completed by both twins. I completed mine without his involvement and I’m still walking my path by choice.

Twin Flame Discussions: By now, you’ve probably tried talking to other people about Twin Flames only to be shut down, laughed at or told that you’re delusional. I remember talking to a spiritual friend about my TF journey a few years ago and as spiritual as she is, she said to me, “you do know people end up in mental institutions for believing this crap, right? Anyone who matches your energy can be your twin flame. You can have as many twin flames as you want”. It wasn’t her fault! She’s not on the TF journey. I stopped talking about it to others and I advise you the same. If you’re looking for validation, I’ll give it to you with right now with love. The twin flames exist, true love exists. Your intuition and feelings are telling you the truth. Just because others are not on the journey, doesn’t mean that your path is a lie. I also advise you to look into the types of TFs and also into Monads. The more you understand, the more you heal yourself.

Most Importantly: I’ve heard some people encouraging twin flames to cut cords between the twins. I’ve also made the mistake of doing this TWICE (because I’m stubborn). From my personal experience, I can tell you that it will create the most excruciating painful experience that you can imagine. When I was going through my second dark night of the soul which we call the Twin Flame Awakening: I didn’t want it. I had already gone through the first DNOTS which transformed me into a healer, right? That was long and painful too. Almost 10 years of manically healing myself and releasing ancestral Karma. Just me and my solitude & no one to understand this madness. I had no idea that the TF awakening was going to be long and even more painful. When I found out who my DM was, I wanted nothing to do with him. Not because I hated him or disliked him. He is my first love and my only love. I’ve never felt the same for anyone else. I separated from him when I was 14 and I didn’t want to go through that pain again. Additionally, we weren’t in contact. In fact, I had no idea which country he even lived in. I rejected the truth for many years. I was in my ego. I thought I was powerful enough to “control” this because I was brainy, and a healer and I knew tricks to change energy like Reiki and hypnosis. I tried, on two occasions over time, to cut the cord. BOTH times, I ended up in not just extreme physical pain but also had the most horrible days possible. I suffered extreme bad luck which only ended when I accepted (again) that he is my DM and I am on the TF journey. The pain on the journey often leads people to believe that their TF is doing black magic on them. Listen! I am an accountant, analyst and a healer & I’ve successfully completed complex analysis for work in days: whereas other people had either given up or took months to complete the same. I practice magic daily: Reiki is magic, EFT is magic, mirror work is magic, words are magic. And I can tell you this with absolute conviction that your TF is NOT doing black magic on you. You are on a magical journey and you are the magic. What you think is black magic is crazy, intense attraction that you’ve never felt for anyone else. It’s true love! You are half of it (now I don’t believe that TFs are halves of each other but in the connection, you are one half of the whole). Surrendering to the TF journey is a phrase that we often hear but what does that mean? Maybe it simply means to accept that your destiny is true love. And true love doesn’t care about physical union. Some people live their whole lives not knowing what love is. You get to live your life becoming true love. I’d say it’s an amazing gift from the universe. Cheers! Now go share this beautiful love with a soulmate who has healed himself and adores you as much as you love him or more. And keep wishing your DM well.